Who is Dan Onorato and why do I want to pronounce his name?

I had a revelation this weekend. I was at a funeral reception making small talk at a moment when I was really just trying to pull myself together. If you know me at all, you know I suck at death in general so I was just trying to breathe deep and get myself to a place where I wasn't going to fall apart. Now, I don't know if this other person sensed (or saw) me falling off the edge and thought she'd do me a favor by trying to get my mind on something else but she said something to the effect of "We gotta make sure we get Onorato into office!"

You know how free association works? For example, I say dog and you are supposed to say the first thing that pops into your head, like maybe house or food or shit. Well, this woman, who I happen to be quite fond of, says "Onorato" and all I can think is "Otteratoe" and "claymation hair". But I edit myself long enough to say "Are you kidding me? That dude doesn't even think I can pronounce his name. Why would I want him to be my governor."

Well, now I've just pissed her off. She becomes quite indignant and says "I'm very serious. He's going to save our (teacher) pensions." To which I say without edit...."Well, I don't have a pension. So it doesn't really matter to me."

Now I could go off on a tangent here about protecting pensions and supporting 5% raises per year for 4 years for teachers regardless of  performance in an economy which has forced many of us not protected by unions to accept pay freezes. But I'm not gonna do that (mostly cuz I don't particularly agree with it given the current state of the economy). But that's not the point. The point is that it suddenly dawned on me - the only thing I know about Dan Onorato is that he thinks I can't pronounce his name. And the only thing I know about the other guy (who I have come to know is Tom Corbett) is that he's gonna get those backroom cronies out of Harrisburg (cut to scene of old men smoking cigars, playing poker in a backroom in Harrisburg).

And then I realized that most politicians are really just freaks that we place our trust in to do the right thing. And then I think what kind of freaks want to place their trust in Christine O'Donnell who is spending her campaign money on assuring us she is not a witch. That, instead, she is, in fact, me. And I am, in fact, a witch. Therefore, in reality, she really is a witch.

And I can still pronounce Onorato. I just have no idea why I would want to.