It is February and for the 41st time in my life (because I'm convinced I felt this way as early as when I was 2 weeks old), I am in the throes of the longest winter of my life. ENOUGH ALREADY!!!! How long can snow possibly stay on the ground? I'll tell you how long. Since December 26, 2010. That's how long.
I have plastic covering my windows, space heaters turned on, regular heat turned on and a heavy coat. The thermostat says 67 degrees but I simply do not believe that. There is something so fundamentally depressing about winter that the mere thought of leaving my house is too much to bear some days.
My arch nemesis Hurricane Schwartz came on the news back in November with his multiple teases to stay tuned to hear about his long term winter forecast. Then he promised us in all of his expertise, that we could look forward to a mild winter. WTF???
Then after a few snowstorms and cold spells that lasted upwards of 400 days, he comes on with teases about his "updated" long term forecast. Guess what Glenn?? If winter is half over and the snow keeps a coming, its no longer a long term forecast, its a 7 day forecast combined with a recap of what has gone on for the past 2 months. SURPRISE!!! We are now in for a cold and snowy winter.
Now Hurricane tried showing up at my 40th birthday party to make amends but too late sucka!!!! It's still cold and the snow hasn't melted! You're days are numbered....
So news of a warm-up this week is met with a mixture of excitement and disbelief. I'll believe it when the damn snow is gone.