A moment like this...

Yes - I am sentimental. In fact, I'm about as sensitive and sentimental as they come. I was born that way. As a little kid, I was referred by the neighborhood mothers as "an old soul" or "an adult in a child's body". So, while for those who really know me, this is no shock, the others who only know me socially or by osmosis, this post may be a little uncomfortable.

My sentimental heartstrings have been hanging out there for anything or anyone to grab on to over the last year. The smallest thing can set me off and leave me in a puddle of tears. Last night was no exception when I watched, of all things, American Idol. Let me preface this by saying, I have watched about 3 entire episodes of Idol this entire season. Quite frankly, it interfered with my Biggest Loser TV watching and Darius and the gang won out on that one. But a few weeks back, while flipping the channel back and forth during a commercial, I caught Lee Dewyze sing Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah and I fell in love. Not just with cutie Lee but with the moment when Lee finished that song, looked out into the crowd and sighed. It was the most serene sigh; the kind few people really ever experience but many of us spend a life time searching for. A sigh that represents total peace and centeredness; a feeling I have experienced only a handful of times in my life. 

I remember having that feeling the day I graduated from college. I was the first person in my immediate family to ever do so and I did it in spite of a lack of understanding and support from my family. I don't mean that in a bad way; my family simply did not understand how many hoops I had jumped through to get there. But I remember a very distinct moment that day, when I walked across the stage to get my diploma when everything felt right in the world. When all of that hard work finally meant something tangible and other people could understand and celebrate it. I recall telling someone that I felt "centered". And I did. All was right in the universe.

So last night, when I watched that 23 year old boy find his center in a way that other people could understand and celebrate, I felt like I could have birthed him myself. Everyone should have a moment like that in their life. Everyone deserves that moment. And after the year that I have had, I couldn't help but wonderif my brother had ever been so lucky to have that moment. I hope he did. Because, if anyone deserved it, it was him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNs4Ayjo4jw